Resolution Update in Scattered Form

So, here we are at the beginning of March already.  How many weeks does it take to form a habit? 

Hmmm.  The no-guilt resolution has its moments, but I think at this point, in hockey terms, it is guilt 20 million, Brenda 0.  I'm having troubles mainly with motherhood guilt.  Kirk and I agreed at the beginning of the semester that some sort of consistency would be good for Anja - i.e. regular hours at preschool instead of willy-nilly days off. And she does learn so much there - her primary versus secondary colours, starting French grammar, etc.  In the meantime, though, my schedule is such that I am not at work all the hours she is at school.  Most of this non-work time is now taken up with giving the dog a good hour and a half walk, but sometimes it does make me feel like I am "choosing" the dog over Anja.  In other words, I am struggling to meet everyone's needs.  I would probably feel less bad if I was a bucket of fun to be with when we are together - but I am generally in some kind of hormonal see-saw funk.  Or maybe it's just that she is so whiny these days, and I haven't been able to find out why, but it is exhausting.  Why am I not just a natural fun-person?  Which leads me to think maybe I am one of those people who should have had a license to have children.

Writing.  Well, I have made progress. During our reading break I did write every day, but now I feel a bit stuck as to the direction this particular project is going in.  So I have been avoiding writing for a week - which means I am not following the resolution of writing every day.  So feeling like I am never going to write anything decent again, and that I will stick to the fine art of procrastination and resulting guilt for the rest of my life...

Yoga.  With the dog, I am walking lots now, at least said 1.5 hours a day.  So I am not doing as much yoga, but am still doing it 2 or 3 times a week. I remain fairly happy about that.

Sugar - well.  How about early induction to avoid overgrown babe?  Weight gain? I still think I'm giong ok, though at the end of the day my ankles are a little more puffy than usual.  I just feel, well, round.  Overripe.  However, this weekend I did make 3 weeks worth of dinners to combat our recent nutritionally deficient diet, though Anja, according to her screaming fit tonight, would rather have waffles and pancakes every night.

On the positive side, I have discovered a pottery co-op here and want to join once babe is a bit older. It's 24 hours open and it teaches fun things like how to fire and run a kiln.  I would really, really like to start making dinnerware to sell.  What do you think? 

(While I'm writing this, I'm watching an episode of a sappy show called Brothers and Sisters, and there has been a recent miscarriage  - it's wierd because even though I am currently hugely pregnant, I am weepy because she says her body keeps letting her down and she feels so broken - I can still relate).

I'm also wondering at this stage why current scientific research has not been able to shorten the gestational process just a wee bit.  I am determined not to go past 38 weeks, which means just over 11 weeks to go. 
11 weeks is a lifetime. Plus, I would really like one of those delicious ales Kirk has sitting in the fridge.  Instead, I will go drown myself in frozen yogurt.