It's a....

A ha!  Made you look!

I know I said last week that my ultrasound was on Friday.  However, that day I happened to look at the requisition and saw that the ultrasound was actually on Monday.  So spent the rest of the day a bit dramatically mopey.  In any case, this meant that yesterday we all, Anja included, trundled off to the office (and I mean trundle, I had to walk slowly:  what cruelty is it to ask a pregnant woman to drink three cups of water and then not pee for two hours?)  Of course, on the way there, Kirk decided he didn't want to find out gender after all (complications:  what to do about telling Anja then?). 

And there was baby, 4 chambered heart and all (I think all - the tech seemed to be able to capture images of all important organs, brain and spine).  Have you ever actually seen the heart beating away with all four chambers?  Pretty amazing stuff - of course, Kirk has seen this lots, so was surprised by how neat I found that particular part.  When the tech got to the nether regions, she told Kirk to look away and pointed "it" out to me (I had to get her to tell me again afterwards, because I thought I might be looking at a misplaced umbilicus.)  In other words, it's a boy. 

Don't worry - I am not telling you and not my husband (although, to be honest, I probably would have, not being the kind of person to keep news like this all to myself).  Having done a radiology rotation, Kirk does know how to look at ultrasounds without having someone point everything out (whereas I see things in lumps and blobs with a bit of snakey spine thrown in for good measure).  Later last night, he told me that when the tech was trying to get a full-body shot, he thought he "saw a package."  From UPS, dear?  I said "would you like me to confirm or deny?"  He said "a boy, right?"

So, a boy.  Strange.  Very strange given that I was raised in a family entirely comprised of girls.  And, of course, given that I am me, my reaction is complicated on many fronts.

First, I thought "I knew it."  This pregnancy has been so EASY compared to Anja's - no massive bloating (I stll have ankles!), no real headaches, no real nausea, not even that much smell aversion, and I'm still fitting into the small maternity pants.  Kirk says there is no real "scientific data" in thinking pregnancies differ as to if it's a boy or a girl... but....

Next, I was relieved, and I'm trying to sort out that reaction.  Relieved that I won't have to deal with the intensity of a mother/daughter relationship. 

Then, I was afraid.  This would mean I might be, at some distant future point, the mother-in-law to some unsuspecting poor girl (which is different somehow than being a mother-in-law to a man - you are seen as crazy in an entirely different way).  

Or how about being the creepy mother in the Robert Munsch's I'll Love You Forever (no offence to those who love the story - the intention is very sweet.  Still creepy)

Registering next was the fact that I have never liked the awkward skinny boy stage in which they wear jogging pants and pull at themselves. 

And that, so says popular wisdom, boys take longer to potty train. 

Next, sad that I have bins and bins of pretty girls' clothes and dresses that I've saved up.  And for some reason, boys' clothes just don't seem as cute.

Then, today at work, I saw in a new way all the slouchy unmotivated young men dropping the f-bomb far too much and actually prayed "please God, never, never, never." 

And (Kirk thinks I'm totally immature about this), I will have to deal with and care for a penis on a daily basis.  Dear God!  I border on prudishness at the best of times.  Besides my husband's and only then on certain nameless "occasions" do I deal with penises!  And there is a horrid contraption for boy babies called a "pee-pee tee-pee!" (of course, I will probably have one - a tee-pee, that is).

Then I thought "I must teach my son to value women for the independent, creative thinkers, amazing people they are always." 

Tonight, I'm thinking I can do this.  I can raise my son to be a good, strong man, just as I can raise my daughter to be a good, strong woman. 


Is there a difference?  In play?  In temperament? In, hopefully, sleep?

I don't know.  I guess I'll find out.  What do the mothers of boys or girls or of boys and girls think about this?

p.s.  One thing that does concern in the big baby department is that this baby already wieghs 1.3 lbs.  I am 21 week +3 days.  1.3 lbs is a 24 week measurement. Yikes!