Two items against which I was firmly, stoically resolved just 24 hours ago: sugar and pregnancy tests.
I had an hour-long ocular migraine today (very wierd, like having a dancing, flashing ameoba in my eyes, which, in turn, makes me very dizzy - I only started getting them this year, and no longer get as many regular-old migraines), accompanied by the feeling of an ice-axe hacking my brain. Unusual. PMS perhaps? A change in weather? Stress (I did have a dream last night that I arrived for class wearing my clothes inside out, that my slides were all porn and the students were making fun of me...) Or something else? Most of my ocular migraines last only 15-30 minutes. So I made Kirk get me a pregnancy test before I downed a bottle of Advil. And guess what?
Two very strong pink lines on the very first test within seconds of the pee hitting the stick.
"Wait," says Kirk, "there are rivers to cross. Don't tell anyone and don't post it on your blog." To this I said, "But I tell everyone when something bad happens anyway, so why not something good?" A friend put it to me this way - "There is always room for joy and hope."
Cross your fingers and toes for this little baby, please! I am still in a state of euphoria-crossed-with-paralyzing-fear-disbelief.
Celebratory jelly beans tonight, and then junk food stops. I did gain 60 pounds with Anja, after all.
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Together again…
11 years ago
Yes, there are rivers to cross – but there’s no reason you can’t sail across them in a luxury yacht this time!
ReplyDeleteOf course it’s important to prepare yourself (as much as possible) for if something goes wrong, but there is also the chance that all could go well. Sitting in dread and fear won’t change the outcome.
Some people may believe that getting your ‘hopes up’ may make it harder if things don’t go as you had hoped, and maybe there is some truth to that – but IF something went wrong, you already know it’s tough – why not take the time now and celebrate while everything is right!?
There IS plenty of room for joy and hope. I love you and am SO happy for you!
~C~